Monday, March 03, 2008

March Matchups: Bennifer vs. Billary

Welcome back ladies and gentleman to March Matchups, where we are ready for a real hostile battle to take place between Bennifer (Ben Affleck/Jennifer Lopez) and Billary (Bill/Hillary Clinton).

The bell rings with Lopez and Hillary immediately locking up. J-Lo stuns Clinton with some sharp chops to her chest and an elbow to her forehead. But the Senator doesn’t go down easy, she resorts to a quick hair pull and then a nasty eye gouge.

With Lopez momentarily stunned, Hillary walks over to the corner where Bill hands her something. Why, it looks like a roll of quarters! Lopez charges at Mrs. Clinton only to get met by a clenched fist from the presidential hopeful! J-Lo is knocked out and easy prey for the pinfall victory. It’s clear that Senator Clinton hit Lopez with a roll of quarters, because there are now quarters scattered all over the ring.

While ring announcer Lilian Garcia is announcing the Clintons as the winners, referee Dewey Cheatem is taking an envelope (filled with hundreds?) from Bill Clinton and stuffing it down his pants.

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, this is all too reminiscent of the time that President Clinton’s former National Security Advisor, Sandy Berger, got caught stuffing his trousers with classified documents from the National Archives in Washington, D.C. By the way, Berger did plead guilty to misdemeanor charges in 2005.

Hmmm, I bet if that was you or I, we’d be spending some time in a federal prison if we even stole bubble gum let alone classified documents.

Discuss amongst yourselves…

Meanwhile, the winners of the bout: Billary!

File me under satire!

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