Sunday, March 18, 2007

March Matchups: The Dudleys vs. The Road Warriors vs. The Steiners

The Dudleys vs. The Road Warriors vs. The Steiners

Ding, ding, ding, ding!!! Well, ladies and gentleman we have come to that moment you've all waited of the greatest matches ever to be staged. Where else, would you find such action? But of course, right here at the "Rangers In Seven" Arena at "March Matchups." The contest is being held in honor of the late, great Big Dick Dudley. Let's hook 'em up!

The Dudleys you may have guessed are one of my favorite tag teams ever, as are their opponents. We did have some trouble convincing all the other Dudleys to go home. You know Spike, Runt, Dudley Dudley, why I think there is even a Dudley named Dudley Dudley Dudley or his cousin Dudley Dudley Dudley Dudley. Well, anyway you get the point. I've got it down to two - the two best and most successful tandem - Bubba Ray and D-Von.

Bubba Ray had a stuttering problem, but he has been able to overcome that. Showing us that in life, you can overcome just about anything! Amazing, all Bubba Ray used to be able to utter from his mouth was, "My name is Buh Buh!" Funny how far one can come.

The Dudleys started off in E.C.W. and are based on the Hanson Brothers from the movie Slapshot. Legend has it that the whole Dudley idea was formed by two great minds; Tazz and Paul E. "Dangerously" Heyman. The Dudley gimmick is that they are the sons of the fictional "Big Daddy" Dudley, a salesman that travelled throughout the U.S.A. and basically fathered all these kids through different women. That's why so many of the Dudleys look different not only in size, but also are of different races. Really, the only similarities are the taped glasses they wear, their unkempt hair, and that they all wear the same wrestling gear, tie-dye shirts and overalls.

The Dudleys are one of the most successful tag teams in the history of pro wrestling - having won 18 world tag team championships - and also perfected the art of smashing tables on their opponents and throwing their foes through tables. The Dudleys are the only team to hold the E.C.W., W.C.W., W.W.E., and All-Japan tag titles. They now compete in T.N.A. (Total Nonstop Action) and are known as Team 3D, since Vince McMahon owns the rights to the Dudleys' name.
The Road Warriors (Hawk and Animal) grew up on the south side of Chicago and formed as a tag team in 1983. They were the first ones to use face paint, and were the most powerful and dominant tag team at that time. The Roadies have been copied by so many different wrestlers, it is impossible to count all of them. The Road Warriors joined manager Paul Ellering's stable of wrestlers which were known as the "Legion of Doom." Hawk and Animal would also go by that name throughout their career and specifically when they joined the W.W.E. in 1990. They held tag team titles in the A.W.A., N.W.A., W.W.E., W.C.W., and all throughout Japan where they were enormously popular.

Unfortunately, the Road Warriors were misused many times throughout their career. Because they were so dominant, they never needed to win the tag team titles to "sell," so quite often they would get stuck feuding with a tag team that were not the champs. This allowed whatever promotion they were wrestling with, to have tag team champions who they could sell, in addition to the Warriors. To me, these guys should have been tag champs throughout the entire '80s, they were that dominant.

Hawk passed away on October 19, 2003, five months after he and Animal made their final WWE appearance wrestling on Monday Night Raw. Animal still wrestles on the indy circuit and in Japan.

The Steiners are real life brothers, Rick and Scott, and were former all-American wrestlers at the University of Michigan. I remember Rick from his days in the U.W.F. (Universal Wrestling Federation) where he would often team with Sting. When Rick eventually teamed up with his brother it was instant success! The two would go on to hold tag team titles in the N.W.A., W.C.W., New Japan, the W.W.E., and E.C.W. Scott has done very well as a singles' competitor, whereas, Rick, a.k.a. the "dog-faced gremlin" would never "go over" with the fans as a singles' star. They recently reunited in December to win the N.W.A. Mid-Atlantic tag team titles. Scott left the W.W.E. a few years ago and wrestles for T.N.A. and also in Japan.

As a team the Steiners showed athleticism that was unparalleled, and probably is something that we may not see again. The Road Warriors were about brute strength and intimidation. Before going to work for McMahon they used Black Sabbath's Iron Man as their entrance song. I recall fondly Hawk and Animal running to the ring and demolishing their opponents, particularly, when they bloodied and battered The Midnight Express (Stan Lane and Bobby Eaton) for the N.W.A. titles in late 1988 after turning heel. The Dudleys, well, what can you say about them that hasn't already been said at the most glamorous cocktail parties around the 'big city.' They combined athleticism, power, stunts, comics, and crudeness to form an awesome tandem. They defied the barriers between "baby face" or good guy, and "heel. It's a big problem for promoters when they are trying to push you as "bad guys," and the fans are cheering you wildly. Therefore, I rule the winners of this match...The Dudleys! By the way, if this match had ever taken place it absolutely would have been one of the most brutal and entertaining bouts ever! Somewhere in the ether right now, Big Dick Dudley is smiling down on all of us here at the "Rangers In Seven" Arena!

Keep it in the Ring!

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